Nombrilisme, PuncProsody, Page 3

The S-Files

Is it just me, or was the latest season of Black Mirror gorier than usual? Another excellent selection of thought-provoking short stories, though, and superbly acted. I ended up watching the whole season over the weekend, riveted to my seat with horror.

The rest of the week I’ve felt depleted of energy, though. Not exhausted, but depleted. I’m not sure how to explain the difference, but I suppose it’s something like this: exhaustion is sort of pleasant after putting a lot of effort into something, and a good night’s sleep will generally fix it, but depletion is a persistent lack of energy that a good night’s sleep can’t remedy. Normally, I wake up before my alarm, but this week I’ve struggled to get out of bed with enough time to catch the bus. And I keep forgetting to charge my phone.

If I think of it with a bit of emotional distance, as though it were a scene in a book, it’s almost comical, the number of times I groan and hit snooze, completely out of it. Even Scout, who normally will wiggle himself under my pillow to wake me up for breakfast, isn’t trying to get me up every morning. It’s like he can tell I’m not myself this week.

I finished reading Carmilla (a rec from the Queer for Fear documentary) and was pleasantly surprised by how overtly queer-coded it is and by the fact that I found the writing style more or less enjoyable to read. That’s saying something, because I normally find novels from that time period a bit of a slog to get through.

After the first half of the first season of Gundam The Witch from Mercury, every other episode has at least one scene that is like an emotional gut-punch. It’s good, just… emotionally harrowing.

The cover art for the Everyforest is still very much a work in progress, but last night’s sketch feels promising.

Last weekend I finished the first installment of a new anthology which I am tempted to call Sable’s (Tall) Tales. It will simply be a collection of classic fairytales that I’ve re-written in my own style and these, of course, will end up on the podcast eventually. The first story I chose to re-write was The Seven Ravens, because I simply loved the sister protagonist’s bravery in going on a quest alone to free her brothers –and the fact that the originally translated text implied that she had a disability. I made this much more overt — a gutsy, clever heroine who saves her brothers with a support of her trusty walker.

Saga seems to have mostly left Twitter at this point, and so there’s very little reason for me to stay on the site either. Rather than move firmly to Mastodon or some other microblogging platform, it seems more sensible for me to try and get back into the groove of long-form blogging instead.

They released another photo of Saga’s birthday hoodie and there IS a UFO on it. Has the inside of the Nose Mountain been visited by aliens?

Find out on the next episode of The S-files…

🛸✨👃

Ahem.

The design for the T-shirt is even more intricate than I had realized, too, and the symmetry of the two pointing fingers makes the eyes even more compelling somehow. I love the ST logo as well, and the colours… ♪

The silver amethyst pendant is simple, classic, and beautiful, but since I already have an amethyst pendant… ♡

Oh, and I’ve finally finished translating the entire GRACE album; they’re all up in the Cryptography section! They’re beautiful. I’m glad I took the time to fully understand and reflect on all of them.

I went to bed before finishing the writing of this entry, and finally woke up just before my alarm this morning feeling relatively well-rested. Scout was very pleased that I decided to join him at the window begore breakfast to see what little creatures were scurrying about outside.

Happy Birthday ♪

Slice of Life

In preparation for Saga’s birthday today me and Scout made pizza from scratch for the first time in a while yesterday (I have a cake in mind to make for tonight or tomorrow, too). This was meant to lead up to an online pizza party this morning, but unfortunately Saga felt too physically wrecked from the lives earlier in the week and so had to cancel. I’m a little worried about how Saga must be feeling, but glad that he chose to cancel the event instead of pushing himself. Hopefully he still had enough energy (and wasn’t in too much pain) to enjoy his birthday to some degree with family or friends… feel better soon, Saga. ♡

It’s been a very slow day here for me and Scout — intentionally. I did a little tinkering on the laptop in the early morning but then both me and Scout laid down and napped on and off into the afternoon while I did bits of editing on my phone. I had the leftover pizza while watching some more extremely cute episodes of はじめてのつかい and then gave Scout a bath. He actually splashed the water with his paw a little! I have every intention of getting him a floating rubber duckie for future baths to see if he’ll play with it… he’s basically a mischievous little kid.

Scout’s currently sitting next to me, grooming his still-damp fur, but it’s just about time for his allergy medication and his supper, so I’m off to do that.

I hope you have space to relax this weekend, drink plenty of water, and do something you enjoy.

Straight to the Action

Photo Reflections, Slice of Life, Writing

The writing circle meet-up last weekend was just as interesting as the first one that I went to, but for an entirely different reason this time. I didn’t participate all that much during the meet-up proper — the energy was a little different than the last time, where we were all sort of discussing in small groups and having fantastic conversations that spanned a wide array of subjects. The gathering felt somehow a little sour this time. That is, until people slowly left and there were just two of us at the table, the other person having spoken even less than I had during the gathering.

The thing about introverts is we become more talkative and relaxed the smaller the gathering becomes. So I took a chance and asked her if she’d like to sit a little longer to talk some more… and she was happy to. As it turned out, she writes screenplays which is a format I’ve never attempted before, so I had plenty of questions about it and we both got to talk about our WIPs and the differences between our preferred formats. As obvious a thing to say as this is, it’s truly comforting and fun to talk to fellow writers.

We probably would have stayed to chat even longer had an organizer not come up to us in the restaurant we were in and asked us if we were there for a “language exchange” meet-up that was being set up in the area ours had been in. We said no and excused ourselves, paid for our drinks, and parted ways.

On the way home I perused my local comic book shop to admire their wall of Gundam plastic model kits (I refrained from buying one on the spot), and to take a look at some of the newest comics and graphic novels on display (it’s not new, but I still need to get the latest Saga volume), and then I left to take the long way home because the weather was fantastic (warm, but with a cool breeze).

I hadn’t intended to do any shopping at all during my walk, but when I noticed that Nordstrom was in the last couple days of its store closing sale, I couldn’t resist taking a look (a couple weeks before, I’d nabbed a heavily discounted YSL lipstick I’d had my eye on for years) and ended up finding a very comfy pair of leggings along with a holy grail find of two bras in my (specialty petite!) size in a style that I liked. Talk about lucky.

I didn’t have the energy to make anything complicated for supper when I got home, so I made a comfort meal of そうめん (cold noodles) with side dishes of cold tofu and sliced tomatoes. As always I had to fend Scout off several times, as he wanted to either sniff or stick his paw into the noodles, but after that we just relaxed and ate side by side.

I bought great new PS4 games when I was in Japan, but wouldn’t you know it? Instead of playing those, I’ve been hooked on replaying Dragon Age Inquisition instead. I finally cleared the trebuchet battle (without lowering the difficulty, heheh) so I set about exploring Skyhold and clearing up some minor quests before bed. And then woke up in the middle of the night and played some more until I could fall back to sleep.

Before that, though, I made some more notes for the next story, which I expect will be a novella or at most a short novel. Even now I’m still more or less in the outlining phase, but that Sunday, I did start the writing proper, though with a lot of false starts. It’s been in my mind since 2018, so I have bits of writing from that year and 2019 to incorporate in it (or discard if it no longer aligns) which is rather exciting in and of itself. A bit of spring cleaning for the imagination, you might say.

I even added another old art piece to the home page — void/eden from 2018.

In the week since I’ve put a bit more work into a short story that’s been percolating in my brain for a number of months and I finished translations for a few more アリス九號. lyrics (though they still need a bit of editing before I can post them). Though given that I worked yesterday, I’ll be spending a good deal of time, I expect, giving in to Scout’s requests for naps and pets…

Sounds like a good way to spend an afternoon to me 🙂

p.s. I ate yogurt all throughout childhood without any issues, but when I became a teenager, the smell suddenly started making me gag and ever since then I’d been keeping my distance from the stuff. Well, wouldn’t you know it? I recently figured out a way to trick my brain into eating it again! I take plain greek yogurt, slather it in my favourite salsa, and eat it with chips as a replacement for sour cream! Paired with the salsa, as long as I eat it while its still cold, I really can’t smell the difference between it and sour cream. I wonder if I’d be able to eat it with pierogis and green onion…

Open Ending

Footnotes, Writing

I’m not sure why I went so long without writing here again, but the most important thing to mention is that The Everyforest is officially complete — was completed May 22nd 2023. The final chapter, In/Out Ad Infinitum, was difficult both on an emotional level and a technical level, to write. It was so difficult to read that I cried while narrating the final section which probably made the recording difficult to listen to, but it was a genuine reaction, so I decided to use that first take anyway.

Finally… the novella is done.

I wanted to give up on writing it so many times, especially during the last few chapters, but I didn’t, and for that, I’m glad. In the time since, I’ve been working on the digital/print version of the book, editing the earlier chapters especially for cohesion, and I plan to have this self-published by the end of the year because quite frankly, an actual publisher would have to be crazy to take on this experimental thing to try to sell it. And my goal is a lot smaller than that: I literally just want this thing to exist.

Anything beyond it simply existing would be exciting though, I grant you.

Reader, if you’re creating something right now and feel alone, feel overwhelmed, or feel like it doesn’t matter — please don’t give up. The process of making it changes something in you and even just that alone gives it intrinsic value… although I do hope you get to share it with people that resonate with it and enjoy the thing you’ve made.

Anyway, if you’re wondering whether I’m already working on a follow-up to the novella, among other shorts, the answer to that is a very emphatic yes. Though I don’t yet know how I’ll be doing the next story (whether I’ll narrate it chapter by chapter or whether I’ll just be writing it and putting it up as one complete volume). I certainly haven’t forgotten about the Context novel (and in fact, the last few chapters of The Everyforest helped shape more of it in ways I hadn’t initially expected), but its plot definitely needs more thought put into it because what I’ve got so far is missing something in the middle.

In short: the plot needs a plumber.

I’ve actually got one in mind.

Oh, but that’s another story altogether…

Though that character would prefer you refer to her as a “shit facilitator,” I have come to understand.

Ahem.

Aside from that I’ve been steadily adding to the Alice9Lives site, recently put up my own 9kumi Interview, and added a couple more translations on the Cryptography page of this site.

It’s just about time for me to get ready to head out for a writers’ meet-up and it’s a sunny day which means I need extra time to slather on some sunscreen first. My anxiety got out of control yesterday afternoon at work and after some very incoherent journaling, a good meal, a small glass of scotch, a bit of gaming, and a lot of fitful sleep… I am finally feeling relatively clearheaded.

I am more than ready for a cup of coffee and some good conversation with my fellows.

Birth of a Language

Footnotes, Writing

At 7000 words and growing, TE10 simply had to be split in two chapters, regardless of how determined I had been to keep the novella at 10 chapters in order to match アリス九號.’s GRACE album. Instead, the 11 chapters represent the fact that GRACE was released in November, as well as reminding me of the lives I went to that same month, experiencing the whole album (most especially Grace and 界) for myself in person. A truly unforgettable experience that influenced the ending of the novella. I got so much inspiration from seeing and hearing the band rock out live, and most especially from seeing Saga play so soulfully and then relax and have a damn good time during classic, high-energy songs.

I’m so glad I went.

In other words: TE10 has now been released, and TE11’s release will follow in the next week or two!

I added some music into this 10th chapter as well, but I’m no songwriter, so it’s very rudimentary; I was just trying to improvise things during the recording and editing out the bits that sounded too rough afterward. Scout was an immense help during the editing process before bed last night: he provided ambient cuteness and kept my pillow warm while I sat at my dressing table and worked!

This project has really tested the limits of my writing abilities and I wanted to give up several times so I’m glad I saw it through. Regardless of what the reception is, writing this helped me process a lot of things that were in my subconscious — that were stuck there — and for that alone, it’s been worth it.

Though I hope that others who come across the novella will be moved by it too, in their own way.

The new chapter 10, which I chose to name Birth of a Language, makes reference to my 2018 poem Mitosis, expounds on a 2017 short story I wrote under a different penname, and fills in some background for the novel I’m working on. The new chapter 11, retaining its original name In/Out Ad Infinitum, is where everything… ends? begins? returns?

Hmm.

You choose.

Evenings at the NAC

Music, Slice of Life

A couple evenings ago, Stephany and I met up again in order to attend another concert at the NAC. Last time we’d gone to see a concert that featured Vivaldi’s Four Seasons (and a disco ball out in the main hall afterwards, to our delight), and this time we were out to see a concert featuring Bryan Cheng, a cellist from our hometown of Ottawa.

This time, we had plenty of time before the concert was to start so we decided to go chat over milkshakes beforehand. We got our wires crossed right off the bat though, when I wasn’t clear enough with one of my texts, and so I went to the mall to meet her and she went right to the the milkshake bar. Luckily, we realized the mix-up quickly and I power walked my way to meet her where she’d already saved us the best seat in the house.

Not only is the name For God Shakes a great pun, the milkshakes were also pretty damn good. We talked about work a little, and then finished up our shakes over anecdotes about our cats because Scout and Marcel are always zooming around and getting up to silliness.

In this case, said silliness was getting their humans so distracted with talking about them that said humans had to dash out of the shop or risk being late for the concert! So off we went as quickly as we could, stopping only for a moment to laugh about the fact that we’d both worn cuffed pants and boots that were very similar in style. Our power walking didn’t quite cut it, though, and we arrived just a minute too late to go in. We had to stand outside the doors and watch the first piece in the concert from a screen before they would let us in.

Then, when they did let us in, we arrived at our seats but were perplexed when we found that they were already occupied. A pair of elderly ladies, thinking that they would remain vacant, chose to move into them but upon seeing our confused and/or frantic looks explained and moved without us even having to ask. I was thankful for that because I’d just about entered anxiety-mode and begun wondering if I’d read the map wrong and gone to the wrong side of the room! Crisis averted. We hurriedly settled into our seats and then Bryan Cheng and the conductor readied themselves and launched into the second piece.

The piece was brought to life beautifully by the orchestra and the cello had such a soft, warm sound. After that piece, the conductor left the stage and Bryan Cheng regaled the audience of his hometown with an unusual and lovely piece on the cello that would probably normally be meant for a fiddle. He also gave us all a good chuckle by demonstrating a “chop” on the cello (he very dramatically rapped the strings on the bridge once with his hand before starting the piece).

This bit of levity (followed by much applause and cheering afterwards) led into the intermission and Stephany and I got to talking about Japanese studies and using the Japanese language. She told me a little about what the most advanced Japanese course offered in the city was like, and I told her about the kanji studying app I was back to using after half a year away from it (Kanji Study — it’s incredibly versatile for self-directed study especially… I used it before taking the N2). I also told her that the JLPT is now offered in our city (and that we no longer need to travel to Toronto for it).

…I still intend to achieve N1 certification, even if it takes me a couple tries.

But I digress.

The orchestra returned to the stage, the lights dimmed, and once more they drew us into an incredible piece of music that was filled with so much energy and dramatic high points. I normally get lulled into a doze partway through classical concerts because they’re so relaxing, but this music had me awake from start to finish! Despite the fact that we missed the first piece of the night, it was a gorgeous concert and we both had a good evening taking it all in… which is not to mention how enjoyable it was to catch up too!

On the way back to the train, we got to talking about the last piece and what we’d each imagined, and it was so interesting that while we both got the same energetic impression of the music, we both imagined different scenery: Stephany imagined a stormy sea and running through a forest, while I imagined huge snowdrifts and powdery snow blowing up and away in the wind.

Happy Birthday Scout!

Photo Reflections

One year ago today, I met Scout and brought him home with me.

The rescue estimated that he was about four years old and so gave him an estimated birth date in March, based on when they’d rescued him. But because I adopted him just a month later, I decided I might as well celebrate both dates at once. As a five-year-old, Scout is far more relaxed living in the apartment than he was for the first few months that I had him.

He’s decided that he doesn’t mind taking baths (but hates drying off), that mirrors are interesting, that both coffee and bananas smell yucky, that it’s bedtime as soon as his human cuddles under the the duvet in bed, that breakfast is at precisely 6am (…but that it’s fun to try to wake his human up an hour before that), that the food dance does make food tastier, that he can see his human coming home from work if he patiently scouts the sidewalk from the windowsills, and that going to the vet is nothing to worry about because he gets to come home afterwards.

Scout still has a bit of a wild streak in him, but he’s a people-cat and loves spending time with me and meeting other humans. It took us several months to bond after the adoption, but I feel so lucky that he eventually chose me the way that I chose him.

I also feel lucky that, despite all his rambunctious energy, when it’s time for me to sit and write or develop or get my creative juices flowing, Scout is usually quite happy to quiet down and take a nap next to me.

Here’s to another year, my sweet little fluff! ♡

An Unusual Hermit Crab

Slice of Life

A little while back, Scout found a new way to get me up in the morning for breakfast: by burrowing under my pillow so that I would have no choice but to sit up.

Cute and clever, right?

Well, this morning Scout decided to up his game and got even craftier.

He decided to burrow himself into the damn pillowcase.

When I sat up and saw what he’d done, I burst out laughing.

lmaoooooooo

scout!

can you believe?!

anyway, good morning interwebs, i am awake.

An Unusual Dragon-Hoarde

Slice of Life

Once again (to Scout’s delight) I stayed home from work, as I was still positive yesterday evening and still positive this evening too; I have only a bit of a cough now but with any luck, I’ll be negative by tomorrow morning. That being said, I took full advantage of the fact that I was feeling better to do more writing and cleaning up today — and getting a few hundred words on the page yesterday was such a relief.

Leaving my phone in the other room on silent was too.

It was just me and the page, my imagination, a jumble of words.

Scout kept walking back and forth over the keyboard for the first twenty minutes of my attempt at writing yesterday (while I spluttered and laughed in despair), but seemed to understand, eventually, that he should just let me focus, and went to lie down and relax, still in sight. It was an afternoon, like many, in which we shared a companionable silence.

So far today I only managed a few sentences before I had to go lie down and take a nap and when I woke up decided to start preparing a bunch of loads of laundry (which I won’t be able to go out and do until I’m negative) and do more cleaning and vacuuming to try and make this place feel less stuffy. While I was rummaging through things in a drawer, Scout decided to lounge on the v-kei magazine piles and ended up looking like a fluffy little dragon guarding his hoarde of gold.

Stay-Home Café

Slice of Life

I’m starting to feel a little better today and am hoping to be able to go back into work tomorrow (or Thursday, at worst). In the meantime, a little writing, a little cleaning, and a bit of cuddling with Scout are the only truly pressing items on my to-do list.

Speaking of which, I have a new writing set-up in the kitchen: a laptop disconnected from the internet on my kitchen table so that when I go sit there just to write it feels almost like being in a little café. Scout even settles in to the reading chair behind me to keep me company while I work (instead of taking a nap in his lookout). Back in the early days of university I used to do the bulk of my writing on a desktop disconnected from the internet so I thought I’d bring my old writing method back and see how it felt. It does rather curb my tendency to obsessively rifle through a thesaurus to find words stuck on the tip of my tongue. Scout is meowing at me. Time to write.

It’s shaping up to be a cozy day at ホームBASS.